Community Discussion:

[writingvixen.livejournal.com]

I love how your minds think. Oh if you aren't participating in our community discussion posts, you are MISSING out. The people here are lovely and wonderful and so, so wise.

Today's topic is going to be a little heavy and I do hope we all approach it with sensitivity and honesty. But I know this community. I know its members. I have no fear that you can tackle this with class and speak truth over the group.

Unfortunately November doesn't put life on hold, even if we'd want it to. We're chained to our computers, trying our hardest to write our novels and sometimes our friends and family just don't get it.

And it's hard.

We want to be there for them and give them attention, but ... hello, novel here! Our characters need our time, our energy. We're living for 50 people this month! So...

how do you do it? How do you walk the delicate balance of real life and writing life? How do you pound out 50K and keep your friends and family happy? How do you convey to them that you NEED alone time this month? Have you ever lost a friend because of NaNo? Let's talk about the ugly side of our 50k journey into creativity: our non writing lives.

Comments

[lorataprose.livejournal.com]

Oh geez, I thought I could actually write about this, but apparently not. But yeah. Have lots friends, have had to deal with ridiculous non-NaNo backlash.

Y'all are great, though, so I'm just gonna bask in that.

[music-l0ver.livejournal.com]

I haven't spoken to many people about it. I don't know many people that would be supportive. I had one co-worker ask about it and I explained what it was and they thought it was fascinating. I tend to keep these things to myself until later. I'd prefer not to give people something to complain about. I don't have the patience for that.

[lorataprose.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I usually wait until I've written a bunch before I say anything, that way at least I can say "well I've already written x pages" and people usually just say "oh" and go away. (Or, y'know, ask me why/what's the point/when will I publish it/isn't it a waste of time, ha.)

Luckily I'm not that social anyway, so if I don't go somewhere because I want to write it's not that weird. It's better now than when I was in university; for some reason people were okay with the various uses of free time except for writing. :P

[writingvixen.livejournal.com]

We are great. And so are you. You keep writing!

[music-l0ver.livejournal.com]

Luckily, my partner gets it. They've been pretty supportive of my frantic pre-planning and have been attempting to help me as much as possible. I have made it a point to let them know I will be working harder than I did last year so to encourage me if needed.

I've only really spoke to one friend about it and they think it's cool but crazy. Thankfully I don't go out too often. I'm kind of a hermit, I tend to stay in more often than not so I think I've already got that side covered. No one to really worry about!

[lorataprose.livejournal.com]

Yeah, same. The one thing I had to learn is that I had to stop NaNo-evangelizing! We did NaNo together for many years, but while for me it was amazing & fun & uplifting, for her it was extremely frustrating because her writing is slower and takes more time, and she gets discouraged much quicker.

It meant for a while that I felt guilty about my word count and felt like I couldn't brag/be pleased about it because it made her feel bad about hers, etc. It took a lot of adjusting, but now I do NaNoWriMo and she just keeps writing at her normal pace, and that works out fine. It was okay last year so I'm crossing my fingers, ha.

But yeah, with you on the hermit thing. :D

[happeningtolife.livejournal.com]

I am totally a hermit, haha. My husband knows that I do NaNo, and I guess he's supportive - I mean, he doesn't interrupt me when I say I'm writing, and he listens to me babble about it, but he's not a writer himself so he doesn't truly *get* it. :) But he also doesn't put me down or try to stop my writing processes so it works out fairly well.

My family and best friend (the only other people with whom I interact on a regular basis) think that it's cool but crazy. And then my online friends are all super supportive and some of them do it with me so we have long conversations about plot ninjas and character development and things.

The only thing that's going to throw a wrench in it this year is that I'm going to be working on two papers (and 2 presentations) for grad school at the same time. I hope I hit the magical 50k by the end of November but I have a feeling that there's going to be some crunching in there for word count. >.> (This is my first semester in grad school after being 2 years out of school, so on top of getting used to the social aspect of being in classes etc., I am also getting used to the way that assignments pile up by late October/early November.)

Ah well. At least I don't have any blatantly unsupportive people in my life. For that, I can be thankful.

[thewonderelf.livejournal.com]

I was in the exact same situation last year; first year at grad school after 2 years off. I failed miserably at Nano, haha. Another aspect was my health, which had started deteriorating around that time.

I've learned some lessons though, and adjusted the way I tackle assignments (little bits at a time, spread out over the week). And this year I've got an added impetus, because the short story collection I'm writing for Nano also happens to be my thesis. And I've got to hand in 50 pages of it at the end of the semester. So failure is not an option!!

[happeningtolife.livejournal.com]

Ah, someone who understands!! :) My health is fairly poor right now - I have fibromyalgia as well as a variety of different mental illnesses, and while they are decently managed, that doesn't mean my quality of life is perfect by any means. I still struggle a lot on a day-to-day basis. That's one reason why I love NaNo so much - because it helps me get out of my head and into the lives and minds of people I create from scratch. Writing is so cathartic.

Anyway, my real concern is having to handle the papers and exams that are all piling up in November. I'm also worried that if I don't win NaNo, I'm going to feel like a failure (last year was my first year doing it, and I won, which felt GREAT - but I also didn't have anything else going on, like grad school or a job, etc.). Not that not winning NaNo makes you a failure, in any way, but it's a "feelings thing" and feelings are not always logical. :)

Ooh, yes, that is a good impetus!! :D Good luck with your NaNoing!!

[thewonderelf.livejournal.com]

Thank you, and good luck to you, too!

I guess one way to look at it is that even if you don't "win," you'll still have written more than you would have otherwise. You'll have x number of words down, whereas before you had zero.

Can you start working on papers now? Or possibly make a loose schedule for November so you have a clear idea of what you need to do when? That's one of my goals for this week. That works really well for me, because it also allows flexibility for my "bad" days. Which, unfortunately, are more frequent than I'd like to admit.

[faith-less-one.livejournal.com]

My parents don't really understand the appeal of NaNo. Last year, I didn't tell them I was doing it, and they didn't notice, so I figure I'm safe not to tell them this year either. I spend a lot of time in my room anyway, working on various projects and watching TV and movies, so NaNo doesn't really have much of an outward effect on me.

My best friend (in real life), has been supportive in the past, but I know she thinks it's silly. She's not a particularly creative soul, bless her. I didn't tell her last year, and again, I probably won't tell her this year.

My online friends are my rocks in this case. I spend a lot of time on LJ and Twitter talking about my NaNo projects, and I've never had any of them be anything less than completely excited and supportive towards me. That's what really matters to me. I don't think I could do it without them, and, of course, my friends on the forums.

This year, I have the extra pressure of another job (last year I had 2 volunteer positions, this year I have 2 volunteer positions and a part-time job), so I'm going to have a little less free time to write. However, I'm going to push through. I hit 50k on day 20 last year, so I know I can do it in 30!

[tehexile]

I tell people straight what I'm doing and I tell them that I'm going to be prioritising it over pretty much everything else. I haven't had any real hassle over it (only the Job Centre but they hassle me over absolutely everything I do that indicates I have a life beyond jobhunting). I don't have that many massive commitments. I turn up to things I've promised to do in advance and I don't turn up to things that I've agreed its OK not to turn up to. I only promise to do things that are really important, I tell people months in advance that I will be magically disappearing in November. Sadly, I don't see much of my family anyway.

[jacquelee]

"HERMITS UNITED! We meet every year in November and swap stories about caves - it's FUN!"
LOL

No, seriously, I just had this discussion with hubby who pouted yesterday (and I didn't even do anything nano related, I wrote p0rn, lol) and whined about me not having time for him in November when I'm always writing. I spelled out to him that he spends much more time playing WOW than I do writing and it turned out the thing he was actually pouting about was that none of his buddies wanted to go on a raid at that moment. *sigh* Boys and their toys.
And of course he's playing again right now, so I just had to rub it in, telling him that I could have easily wrote the 1667 words the last two hours he spent playing. He just grinned. :P
But yeah, otherwise he's really supportive, he even thought about doing it himself and dug out his old books about how to write a good novel - we'll see how it turns out.

I just moved halfway across the country so I don't have any close friends here yet, but when I told a colleague at work that I'm writing a novel she just pointed out two other coworkers who are also writing. I don't think they do Nano though, but I'll definitely look into that.

[sumi-tatsuha.livejournal.com]

Well, in past NaNo's, I was alone frequently and didn't do much socializing. I made the mistake of telling my family members that I had won, and didn't get much of a response, so I learned quickly that it wouldn't change. Last year I did my writing while my boyfriend was at school, so it wasn't terribly hard to divide my attention. Luckily, all of my really good friends understand my love of writing and give me space to write.

This year, I'm having trouble dividing my attention between boyfriend, baby, extremely jealous cat and sleep . . . I'm not sure how I'll do it.

[aflaminghalo.livejournal.com]

Honeslty, I'm not in a relationship so I don't have to worry about that, my friends know I'm a hermit and unless there was a stench of death emanating from my room, my family wouldn't think on to wonder where I am.

Luckily (or not, since it affects my wages) I only work a 30 hour week so that means I get a whole day extra solely for nano this year.

[de311-nightluva.livejournal.com]

Nano has gotten a bit more challenging each year. Ironically the first time I did Nano I was working 2 F/T jobs and on the second job it was home health so there was down time (it was an overnight shift) so it was like cleaning, doing laundry, providing to support to anyone who was a night owl (since it was group home of men), etc. Any my social life was pretty 'eh' since I'm a bit of a loner. My family was supportive but there were waaaaay too many people who lived there but somehow that first year and years to follow I was able to make my 50k (one year I almost came away with a complete first draft and wrapped up November having writting 70k).

However last year, and the year before was a struggle, I think it's mostly because I've been a bit more sociable, my duties at work have amplified at my main job (back when I did Nano for the first time in 2007, I worked with a team of 12), the year before last it was a team of 4, last year it was a team of 3, and this year a team of 2. Most of the work falls on me. Plus I have a part time job, classes, friends, and family activities.

I end up internalizing more of my frustration, which isn't good, but I've taken to telling myself something I read on Jodi Meadow's blog. I'm paraphrasing but she said something along the lines that writing time isn't just the time time you spend in front of a PC. And it's true when I'm at work, driving, on some sort of auto-cruise mind set, I work on what I'll write next or think up the next scene. And this is how I balance but I'll take it one step further... normally I just keep a mental note or write down the idea and get to it when I get to it. Since it's November, getting to it will mean working on it the next time I'm in front of a PC. And I'm hoping with using Scrivener this year, it'll help to streamline this.

I'm also going to see about giving up a shift at my second job, to dedicate that day (which will hopefully be Friday) to writing.

[nosoundcomes.livejournal.com]

People think I am nuts. Absolutely, positively, criminally nuts.

The weird thing is, I think they're the insane ones.

I get this problem a lot. I am a go-getter, but I like my hobbies. I think hobbies are what makes me such a go-getter in the first place, because I always make sure to put a few minutes a day away to do something that I enjoy. My biggest hobby right now is running a very popular video game forum, which is disgustingly time consuming - but I love it. I really do. No one gets how I can sit here and delegate things on a forum made of "pixel people," but at the end of the day I love the interactions there.

NaNoWriMo is just like that - I love it, and it opens my eyes to a whole new part of not just the world, but my own inner possibilities and the things I am and am not capable of. Seeing how much I can do is disgustingly intoxicating. It rocks.

It also sucks that people just don't get that.

This year is going to be a challenge. I am in graduate school full time, I work full time, and I stand by my comment that allowing myself to sit down and work toward 1,667 words a day in a creative fashion is good for my brain. Someone in my program scoffed at me, saying, "Yes - I'm going to take a break from writing papers to write a story. Great." But I mean, why not? Why don't you allow your brain to have some fun? That's why people burn out, I think: they just forget that people need to live a life beyond the rigid goals they have for themselves, and they fail to see how awesome these other things are in helping us achieve our goals. They forget we're beings of passion, man. Passion is what drives us - passion and all the tears and frustrations passion brings.

Yeah, no one gets it. People told me in 2010, my first and last NaNo, that I was insane, but at the end of the day they read my draft and were blown away by it. And, coincidentally, being able to ride the high of, "I wrote a story! I did something productive! Look what I can do!" really resulted in my most amazing year yet. I took that energy and got into an Ivy League grad program. I got a big raise and promotion at my job. I moved into my first place and took care of some important life things. And man, you know what...if that's what being nuts is all about, I'm totally prepared for it.

(Also, just getting back into this community - I always get involved last minute. Pooh. Hi everyone!)

[happeningtolife.livejournal.com]

I absolutely love this comment. I think you are 100% right in that it's our passions that drive us (hopefully for good!! hehe). Burnout is common in the field I'm in (social work) and I think it's because people take on so many burdens from work and don't allow themselves to just be themselves after coming home from work. Whether that means sitting down with your favorite instrument to play a few songs just for fun, or baking something for yourself and/or your significant other, or reading a good book, or working on a writing project... it all comes down to taking time away from work thoughts and towards time for yourself.

Anyway, just thought I'd toss my $0.02 on there. :) Last year I was unemployed and just getting used to living with fibro... this year I am in grad school (but still unemployed) and getting used to the workload there. But either way, even if it is in between writing papers or essay exams... I am determined to at least try my best and see what happens. If I don't win, I don't win. I may not like how I feel if I don't win, but at least I know I will have put forth my best efforts.

(And also, I don't think you're crazy. Way to go for being such a go-getter!!)

[winters-queen.livejournal.com]

My roommate has done NaNo so she knows how it works and how it can be. I try to get a chunk of writing down during the week over my lunch at work so that I don't always have to worry about missing out too much and trying to find a weird see-saw balance.

(Edit) And that should have been a reply to the post, not a reply to the comment. Gah. I need something to wake up more today.)

[thewonderelf.livejournal.com]

I am in an MFA program, and sometimes professors/classmates can get a bit snobby about things they consider "non literary." Nanowrimo often falls under that heading. No one has been brave enough to say anything to my face about it, but they know I do Nano because I am always drinking tea in class and often out of my Nanowrimo mug (which is my favorite mug, not because it's Nano, just because it's the only metal one I have at the moment and tea tastes better out of a metal mug than plastic. But the logo is also awesome).

I think some of my classmates started out a bit jealous of me, because last year (our first year), I did Camp Nanowrimo in August and completed my third novel. I've also got a fairly polished memoir manuscript my undergrad thesis that I'm currently shopping around to small presses (on break from that while I do another revision--I can't leave the darn thing alone!).

I don't like bringing attention to myself, in most cases. I'm in the program to learn and improve my craft as much as possible, so I try not to get caught up in the drama that inevitably happens. But I'm also unwilling to hide behind false modesty or whatever. So I'm not shy about the fact that I do Nano, but nor do I go around shoving it in anyone's face. Then I just have to roll my eyes at the naysayers and bury my nose in my notebook while ignoring them. I am respectful to everyone in my program, and they usually return the favor, at least to my face.

(And this year, one of my classmates is even considering do Nano, too. So I think opinions are starting to change.... Yay!)

[mistyzeo.livejournal.com]

The last four years that I've participated in NaNo, I've been in school, so I have balanced University and writing by shutting myself away while shouting, "I HAVE HOMEWORK!" and writing from midnight to 2am. This year I have moved home, but my parents are used enough to me talking about NaNo that I think they'll leave me alone when I excuse myself to write and angst. :D I'm working on taking myself more seriously as a writer and setting time aside to do it. It's not easy.

[birdcageletters.livejournal.com]

It's never presented any issues to me until this year... there is someone in my life who is very annoyed/unhappy at my endeavor.

I explained it to them like this and they seemed to understand a little more:

When I first completed NaNo two years ago, I was going through one of the most difficult times of my life. NaNo was what kept me going - it gave me something to do, focus on, direct my emotions into, and something to look forward to. In a sense, it was my therapy and I owe so much of my sanity to it.

Therefore, NaNo will always continue to be a part of my life because it helped me in ways that I cannot even begin to explain; my gratitude to the program is infinite.

[myself-or-not.livejournal.com]

I told a few people, including my parents about it the first time I did NaNo, because I was still living with them and tended to stay in my room instead of hanging out in the rest of the house. Everyone's been (or pretended to be, at least) quite interested in the idea. I didn't have that many real-life friends and didn't really go out of my house except to go to school, so at least I was doing something instead of mindlessly surfing the internet or watching tv. What birdcageletters said: it helped me too.

I have never told my real-life friends whenever I was doing NaNo, though. I don't exactly know why.

One time I never managed to write more than a few paragraphs because I was an exchange student and didn't really want to take over the family computer for hours, on top of having massive unrelated problems with my host family at the time. Like caught up on me hard that year.

This year, I don't know if I'll tell people but if I do it'll probably be once I've reached a few thousands and therefore know that I'm not going to give up one more time. I'm a university student so I have very few hours of classes, and when I'm home I usually stay in my room quite a lot, so it won't be a problem. I'm worried about depression having kicked in last month, though, but it's another story...

I'm looking forward to the ride, I remember how focused and happy it made me that one time I reached the 50k. Maybe I need that this year more than usual? Anyway, back to the point: I've never lost a friend over NaNo simply because I have wayyy too much time on my hands that I usually never use except for procrastination. So yay, free time put to good use!

[sarahcb1208]

I'm lucky, I guess. My husband gets super pissy when I'm not "keeping up" with RL crap, but he also understands that when I get an idea and I have to write, that I have to write.

It's a delicate balance. I haven't learned it yet. My big times for writing is during the day, because I have ample time, but because I have ample time, I also host the sprints. I'm here. I'm available. I use that time to do my RL stuff, when I can.

It's hard to find that medium ground of maintaining the word count/desire to write with everything else going on around. It's not easy, but when you figure it out (and I always do ... with a week to go to the END of November LOL), it makes it worthwhile. Until then, it's a bitchy ride.

This year, it's going to be harder to get things done, I think, though. The height of cookie selling for my daughter, TWO Girl Scout meetings (which I'm a leader at), a BIG 5k that a lot of the Girl Scouts are involved in, a leader meeting for the Girl Scouts leaders, plus my job of writing weekly newsletters and the like for an online digital scrapbooking store. Oooh boy.

[ahavah]

I make it a priority. Everyone knows that mommy's goal in November is NaNo, and if they want to eat or live in a clean house, they'd better step up and make it happen. lol Last year was pretty hard for me, because I had a new baby and a job in November, but I'd finally won the year before and refused to accept anything less than another win. I'm lucky to have a husband who understands. This year should be easier for me since I'm staying home again & the baby is older.

I am a fervent and vocal supporter, and I'm sure I've lost a few internet "friends" because of nonstop Nov NaNo talk, but none of my good friends who really matter. I've gained more friends because of NaNo than I've ever lost because of it, I'm happy to say.

[jamiecullum.livejournal.com]

I wish I had more time because I would end up shutting myself up for the whole month of November. I work full time and go to school part time. I'm going to try and balance it out. The weekend I can spend as much as I want writing on my novel, and then during the week nights as long as my body will allow me to stay up and not have it effect my next morning.

[tibek.livejournal.com]

I honestly have it a bit easy, not gonna lie. I made my husband join NaNo with me so we're both caught up in wordcounts and plot lines all month long. My friends and family mostly understand and I just leave hanging out sessions early on Novembers so I can get home to my writing before midnight! And as long as I get in a few hours of writing every night, I can get that wordcount.

But one thing that can really help you out is: bathrooms.

Last Thanksgiving was a bit of a struggle because I was sooooo close to reaching 50K super early on Thanksgiving Day but I had a whole day of hanging out with my in-laws in front of me. So I would watch the game and help make dinner and all of that but always, always my novel was playing out in my head. I thought ahead and I choreographed scenes- right down to the exact words I would write for the next two paragraphs.

And then I would excuse myself to the bathroom.

I snuck in there with my laptop every hour or so and I'd furiously type up first two paragraphs, then another one, and then three more. Only when I ran out of fluid words and got stuck did I emerge, hide my laptop nearby, and demurely go back to chopping carrots, all the while frantically considering the next words and scenes.

I probably went to the bathroom fifteen times that day but each of those quick writing breaks was a burst of creativity and grew my wordcount slowly but surely. And no one was the wiser!

So if you're getting hassled to just hang out or stop writing and pay attention already, remember: you can always excuse yourself to the bathroom. ;)

[mommyof-2girls.livejournal.com]

I tell anyone who will listen to me that I'm doing NaNo. Facebook, LJ, my kids friends Moms, random strangers at the store. Well, maybe not *everyone*. This way I don't feel at all guilty about ignoring everyone for a month. My kids don't get it yet, but once they are in bed I write like mad. :)

[waldenwriter.livejournal.com]

This is my first time doing NaNo, so I don't really have experience to share. And I'm not usually the type to lock myself in my room and write for several hours (actually, I DO have a lock on my bedroom door but I never use it). Thankfully, I am not very social so I don't have a lot of commitments. I have Asperger's Syndrome so social stuff is hard for me anyway.

I live with just my parents (I have a brother but he moved out) and have no school commitment because I just graduated from college last year (and just finished a separate certificate this year, in Web Development and Design - my fallback plan in case my writing career fails). And my parents understand my need/desire to be alone sometimes, even though they are both more social than I am. I actually don't talk to them about my writing hardly ever; it's kinda something I keep to myself. Besides my home life, I have a job and church but no other social commitments at present. I do have other RL stuff I need to do, like look for a job worthy of a B.A. holder (I work at a grocery store right now - one of those jobs you take to get you through school even though they have nothing to do with your major), keep up on my few bills and my health insurance, and my ongoing commitment to write error guides for the Kodansha Sailor Moon manga for Miss Dream (http://missdream.org/?page_id=30), a project which began in late 2011 and will last till at least next year. (In fact, the next volume of that manga comes out next week - and I'm going to try to get my error guide for it done fast so it's up before NaNo begins, even if I have to sacrifice a night of NaNo prep for it).

Thankfully, my job is only part-time (though I could technically work full-time right now if I wanted to...unfortunately I don't have really any control over how many hours they give me, and I make a lot compared to the other people in the same position/department as me, so they don't want to give me a lot of hours because my work's labor budget tends to be limited), leaving me with some time to write. Plus, I usually get to work early so I don't feel rushed, so I'll have time before work to write, as well as maybe during breaks or lunches. And I also have free time on the way to and from work because I take the bus everywhere.

You may find it strange that I would "write on the go," but I found that it actually works better for me. My work schedule varies - and is likely to change at the last minute since I'm that person who hardly ever gets sick and thus has to cover for all the people who call in sick - so it's hard for me to schedule time at home to write. I have to write when I have time. And writing on the go pretty much forces me to write longhand (since I don't like to carry my laptop around if I don't have to - because it's heavy and also for safety reasons - and I don't have a tablet). And I actually prefer to write longhand, because it feels more organic.

So hopefully my real life won't interfere with my writing life too much. We'll see.

[aradiachiba.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty lucky in that everyone around me is very supportive of this big crazy thing I do every November. My boyfriend knows I'm going to be doing this and therefore meals will probably be a little less elaborate than usual, and some of the house cleaning will probably slide a little. (Not too much, or I will go crazy, but a little) He is the one I live with, and he knows how important this is to me, so he encourages, asks about how it's going, and is perfectly willing to let me be for the time I need to make my word count.

I also am lucky in that I have some down time at my full time job, so I am able to make a few sprints during the day and can usually make my word count without any problem during the work day if I want to. I tend to write quickly and murdered my Inner Editor years ago, so she's never a problem while I'm writing, and I can easily get my daily count in about an hour's worth of sprints.

The only frustrating thing about NaNo this year is my job situation. I work 2 jobs, one of which I need to be up at about 2:30 AM for. Most of my favorite writing buddies are the night owl type, and will do their writing late into the night. I, on the other hand, have to be in bed by 8:30ish, or I end up horribly exhausted the next day. So I know I will be able to do my writing without a problem, but I will miss that part of it...

(Deleted and reposted, since I posted as comment to a comment instead of to the entry...)