Is anybody else getting worried about what they're writing? I don't just mean quality wise. Have you written anything that has shocked/disturbed/upset you?
Not for NaNo, but I once wrote a fic about a role-playing game character I played that included torture and dismemberment. After I finished it, I cleansed my brain with a marathon of Disney movies. This year, I haven't gotten to any squicky stuff. Yet. Who knows what the rest of the month will bring?
My first year doing NaNo I discovered that my Horror Muse feeds off of what scares people. It's logical, but I still felt very strange saying "Tell me what frightens you so I can work it into my novel!"
On day 1, my MC's parents had their heads chopped off and their entrails hung around their home...I had to turn the light on after I'd finished writing. :)
I'm shocked at the slow speed I'm writing, but other than that no.
XD
Okay, seriously, I haven't had shocks yet but like the comment above me, it's only day three. I'm sure by day 15 I'd be like What the hell is this???? Why is my brain crazy?
Not this year...yet. But last year there were some scenes that I wrote that had my jaw dropping in disbelief that I could write such a thing as I put them down.
I've also written short stories that have caused me to wonder about myself and my own sanity...
Hopefully this year the muses won't pull anything too strange out of my head XD
I'm writing a thinly veiled metaphor of what has happened to me over the past few years. Sometimes I go so deep that the emotional wounds start ripping open.. or I'll catch myself writing something in the story that I didn't even know I was feeling about the thinly veiled situation but I'll know that it was the only way my subconcious could get it out.
It sounds hard, but maybe cathartic? It's probably the bits that make you feel naked and ashamed that will make other people feel something too, and that's the idea, after all.
... Given the fact that i chose a gritty story to write in the first place, disturbing matter in my writing is going to be fairly common place and the first set of scenes are definitely proving that this is going to be an interesting story to write in more ways than one.
This for me, too. I thought I was tackling some interesting "issues" but now I just feel like it's gratuitous. What worries me is how easy it is to write, my word count's shooting up as a result.
Torture scenes flow more easily than porn. Revenge torture scenes. I'm stopping before it gets too graphic though I think. Maybe leave something to the imagination? Or maybe I'll go all Bret Easton Ellis, who knows?
I'm going to be writing about zombies and I'm kind of worried about this happening lol. Eating meat and murdering people kinda grosses me out. I'm pretty good at putting that sort of stuff out of my mind after, though. I'm just worried I won't want to actually write it in the first place
You know, not yet? But given that my other novel is about a character who's uncouth enough even to gross me out/shock me with what he says? I'm sure we'll get to it eventually.
All the time. But then again, it's when my mind brings me to disturbing places I didn't realize I had in me that my writing hits home. That, and writing makes me a bit sadistic.
The whole thing has been a shocking process. I co-write and we had it all laid out but then something switched things up. The revelations made by the story are rather shock inducing and we're still processing the implications.
I killed off a six-year-old boy in the second scene. I had him pick up some drugs my MC dropped, think they were sweets and eat them. Worries me slightly, but it's a good scene so I will keep it.
Yeah, it's given my MC something to angst over and during the angsting I've discovered that my MC was married, but his wife died. Recently, I think. And he's now being pursued by the police - yay!
I wrote a rather nasty torture scene...but then mine is set in the middle of a (science fiction) war, and my character is/was a POW. But I surprised myself with what I wrote, it was quite disturbing.
I wrote a story about a family that tortures people for a month before killing them. The method of torture for my character was being forced to go through meth withdrawals.
I also wrote a story about a girl shooting her rapist from the end to the beginning (Shoots the rapist/kills herself, days after the rape, the rape itself, the hours before the rape in that order) and disturbed my creative writing class. That story took on a whole new meaning when I was actually assaulted 9 months later.
These sound like the kind of thing I'd really enjoy reading, but there's something very disconcerting about writing them yourself. Have you seen the film Irreversible? If you haven't already you might not want to, it's awful, but it's very similar to the second story.
Not yet, mostly because it's a fanfiction of a war movie and will only really have the horrors that can be expected. Though my MC is going to bump off his Staff Sergeant prior to the event that makes him do it in the movie and, being as he was suicidal even when his murder was more justifiable, there might be some worrying psychological disturbances as a result.
I don't really have that kind of reaction to my writing. I've written graphic violence, murder, childhood sexual abuse, torture, rape, incest, drug abuse, war, suicide, self-injury, sexual slavery, you name it, but none of that has ever upset me. It's probably because I've always used writing as a way to work through my issues to some extent, so it actually becomes therapeutic instead of upsetting, even if what I'm writing about is unpleasant.
That being said, there is one thing that gets under my skin: awkwardness. Anything where a character humiliates themself, especially if it's a romantic or sexual situation, triggers second-hand embarrassment so badly that I sometimes have to stop writing for a few minutes to get ahold of myself. It's strange, because these ideas are coming from MY head and it's not like anyone else is ever going to read it. But when it comes time to write a scene in which one of my characters makes a fool of themself, it feels almost like watching a friend do something you KNOW is a bad idea, and being unable to stop them. This year I've got a MC who's a nice guy but also incredibly naive, and he's already had a couple of moments that have been painfully embarrassing to write. I'm not looking forward to some of the awkward sex scenes that I know are coming up. :|
no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 07:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 07:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 07:44 pm (UTC)You're definitely not alone in this.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 07:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 07:55 pm (UTC)XD
Okay, seriously, I haven't had shocks yet but like the comment above me, it's only day three. I'm sure by day 15 I'd be like What the hell is this???? Why is my brain crazy?
no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 08:09 pm (UTC)I have planned to write more ... disturbing stuff though. Surely that is bad that I have already planned it. D8
no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 08:16 pm (UTC)I've also written short stories that have caused me to wonder about myself and my own sanity...
Hopefully this year the muses won't pull anything too strange out of my head XD
no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 08:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 10:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 11:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 08:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 08:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 08:29 pm (UTC)i decided since i've never directly experienced one, my ability to write it was proof i was a good writer.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-04 12:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-04 01:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-04 05:35 pm (UTC)I managed to write 2000 words in 20 minutes earlier. I am worried that such graphic scenes flow so easily.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-05 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 08:46 pm (UTC)I'm pretty good at putting that sort of stuff out of my mind after, though. I'm just worried I won't want to actually write it in the first place
no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:36 pm (UTC)That, and writing makes me a bit sadistic.no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 10:19 pm (UTC)Also, I love your username.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-04 01:47 am (UTC)And yes, I think that's part of why we write. ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:39 pm (UTC)Interplanetary war is a big possibility, so lots of death, probably. Oh, and a spaceship. There's always room for horrible accidents on a spaceship.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 09:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-03 10:08 pm (UTC)Worries me slightly, but it's a good scene so I will keep it.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-04 09:46 pm (UTC)And he's now being pursued by the police - yay!
no subject
Date: 2009-11-04 12:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-04 12:39 am (UTC)I also wrote a story about a girl shooting her rapist from the end to the beginning (Shoots the rapist/kills herself, days after the rape, the rape itself, the hours before the rape in that order) and disturbed my creative writing class. That story took on a whole new meaning when I was actually assaulted 9 months later.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-04 01:57 am (UTC)These sound like the kind of thing I'd really enjoy reading, but there's something very disconcerting about writing them yourself. Have you seen the film Irreversible? If you haven't already you might not want to, it's awful, but it's very similar to the second story.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-04 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-04 04:39 pm (UTC)That being said, there is one thing that gets under my skin: awkwardness. Anything where a character humiliates themself, especially if it's a romantic or sexual situation, triggers second-hand embarrassment so badly that I sometimes have to stop writing for a few minutes to get ahold of myself. It's strange, because these ideas are coming from MY head and it's not like anyone else is ever going to read it. But when it comes time to write a scene in which one of my characters makes a fool of themself, it feels almost like watching a friend do something you KNOW is a bad idea, and being unable to stop them. This year I've got a MC who's a nice guy but also incredibly naive, and he's already had a couple of moments that have been painfully embarrassing to write. I'm not looking forward to some of the awkward sex scenes that I know are coming up. :|